fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
