standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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