I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
