i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
