Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
