Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
