People in love make me want to vomit
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
