drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
