I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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