so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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