You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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