If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
zippers are such a cool invention
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
