i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
