Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
