Kiss
Puke
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
