I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
