Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
