your thong is hanging out like whoa
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
