For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
