We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
