That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
