I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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