It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
