morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
