Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
