you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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