at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
