well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
