new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
