I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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