hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
