she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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