Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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