I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
