there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
