Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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