hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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