Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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