he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
