Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
