he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
