We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
