I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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