Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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