She is in my trunk
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
