You made me cry and you don't even care
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
