Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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