I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
