sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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