is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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