He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
